One Love, One Heart

I was eating pancakes with a bunch of mofos and one of them was saying how another of our coworkers never comes to work anymore because his wife makes a lot of money.

I said, "It would be nice to have a sugar mama."

A big black guy at our table said, "What did you say about Obama?"

I said, "I didn't say Obama. I said Barack O'Sugarmama. Are you going to vote for that guy?"

He said, "No. I don't know."

I asked, "You're going to vote for McCain? Really?"

He said, "I don't know. I don't know much about politics."

I said, "But you don't naturally trust a black man to look out for you more than a white man?"

He said, "No. It's not a race thing. Race has nothing to do with it."

A polynesian guy said to me, "Dude, you're hella-racist."

I said, "You tell me why an Indian would trust a white guy."

A group of mexicans nodded approval at that comment.

The black guy said, "Are you a hater? You're a hater."

I looked the black guy in the eye and hollered, "Sock!" and I pretended to hit the white guy sitting next to me in the face with my fist.

I've hung out with the white guy before, but just to make sure, I said, "You know I'm half white... and my wife is white... don't you?"

I find that a good way to pass a long work shift is to mess with people. These guys didn't like me knockin' on white folks. So what have we learned?

Nothing brings people of all races together like an entry-level warehouse job.

AND

The good thing about being in the majority is that everyone has a white person they know and love.