Friday, July 31, 2009

You Do Your Best To Avoid Assimilation. Well, I Guess That's The Best You Can Do.

That last post kind of followed the line of talk my wife gave me a little while ago. She asked me if I was becoming a hillbilly. I work with some country boys and spend the majority of my day with them.

Lately, I have been saying "Muh" instead of "My" and "Tuh" instead of "To" and "Morenun" instead of "Morning" and "Tuh-day" instead of "Today."

I think that in my mind I realize I'm saying these words with strange inflections and subconciously I think I'm being funny like when Lisa Simpson imagines a future where she gives up and marries Ralph Wiggum and becomes a fat immobile slug in a hammock inside her trailer and yells at her kids, "Don't bug mom-muh when I'm watchin' muh stories." By which she means the television.

But lately I've barely realized that I've been talking that way and I talk that way far too much for it to be a joke anymore. I also expect to work with the country boys for several years to come.

What can I do?

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Though I Wish You Were There, I Was Less Than You Could Bear and I'm Not The Only Dust My Mother Raised

As you may or may not imagine, conversations between my wife and myself end in strange places. We were deep into a conversation the other day while driving when my wife ended the conversation with an emphatic:

"I don't care who you are... if you've eaten bear before I'm going to call you HILLBILLY. No exceptions!"

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Was this over before it ever began?

It was not my intention to disappear like I did. It seems like everytime a bad thing comes my way, it starts a chain reaction of bad things and soon my daily routines are gone as though they never existed. Usually, I adapt pretty quickly but I must say that I did miss having a computer and use of the internet after a couple of months.

At the other end of the spectrum, there seem to be a great number of people who have absolutely nothing going on in their lives who still like to tell people all about it with hourly posts on Facebook and Twitter.

Of course I've been busy without fail and I'm trying to enjoy the summer. We took the kids to the waterslide this morning and I played baseball with some neighborhood boys the other night. But I've also been working a ton and doing things like installing a water heater. Yay!

I heard about these artists Madeline Gins and Arakawa who design houses based on the concept that people should keep themselves in an environment where they cannot get comfortable. The idea is that people won't sit around staring at the tv or computer. They will get up and get active and ultimately live a longer and healthier life.

It's an interesting hypothesis but I feel that it is unnecessary to DESIGN a house to be uncomfortable. If I have to do homework or if I want to write or read a book and the room is a mess, I can't stand to be there and I'll usually find something else to do. Sometimes I clean the place but it makes me mad because I showed up to do something enjoyable and ended up cleaning. But what I'm really trying to say is that life seems to have a natural tendency towards chaos and disorder and it's kind of our job as the intelligent little crawly things on this planet to organize and rebuild useful things.

One of several crappy companies I have worked for had an orientation for newly hired people. The master of the ceremony mentioned that we may have heard bad rumors about the company and had this to say about any such rumors: "Any mule can kick down a barn but it takes a good architect to build one." Meaning that it's easy to complain about your job but it's difficult to start and maintain a successful business. But it's funny because it was kind of like the guy was saying, "We know we suck but we'd like to see you do better!"

It's a strange notion to have to CREATE an awkward environment around yourself. I seem to find myself in that situation nearly everywhere I go. If you look around, I'm sure there is plenty to do. And don't you want a long, loooooong life of steady work? With that being said, I think we should all go fold some laundry.