Let's Beat Feet, Greenstuff

I was enjoying a tasty treat the other day and happened to glance at the nutrition specs on the back of the package. The scan is not the best but what really caught my attention is the part where it says:

"PRODUCT OF U.S.A. OR MEXICO OR BRAZIL OR CZECH REPUBLIC OR CHINA OR INDONESIA"

Hmm. It appears that the good people at the FDA have lost their passion for their work.

Or maybe they just can't be bothered with little details like which continent your gummy bears came from because they are too busy being bedfellows with drug companies, inventing new ailments like restless leg syndrome.

Food news is boring: "Watch out for e.coli! The price of dairy has doubled!" But sicknesses and disorders are fun, especially when you get to make them up for the sake of selling unused pills that someone has sitting in a dusty warehouse.

And now a special message from a concerned doctor from a caring corporate conglomerate:

Do you feel healthy? Perhaps even a little TOO healthy?

Did you know that even HEALTHY people feel QUEAZY and SHIVERY from time to time? If it has been awhile since you have felt queazy and shivery, you may be suffering from Queazy Shiver Deficiency Syndrome (QSDS). QSDS is a treatable disorder and our doctors can provide a number of otherwise unusable medications to make you queazy and shivery to get you back in top condition.

Only a doctor can diagnose QSDS. Please call our number to find out what your disorder is:

1-800-GINIPIG