Whoa! He Says What We're All Thinking

There's a guy at work who is a typical Utah Republican. I think I got him bothered the other day when we were talking about voting. Utah was voting on whether or not to have state-funded vouchers for kids that attend private school. For some reason, he was all excited about these vouchers even though he has no school aged kids. I told him that those vouchers only help upper-middle class families as poor families are still too poor to afford private school, as are most people with even moderate incomes. I don't think that he appreciated me playing the devil's advocate.

The other day we were sitting on break and there was a loud noise like thunder and the ground shook. He stared into the construction zone and said, "What the hell was that?"

And in a voice somewhere between John Wayne and Forrest Gump, I said, "It sounded like a Tyrannosaurus Rex to me."

The guy stared at me with penetrating eyes. Then he said, "Dude. Someone seriously needs to kick your ass."

I said, "Yeah. That's what people have been saying my whole life... but no one ever does it so I don't feel bad. I blame all of you for letting me act this way."

But that surprised the crew, "YOU have never had your ass kicked? Ever?"

And I don't know how they meant it. Like you of all people should have had his ass kicked by now? Or How is it possible for you to get drunk so many times and hit on other people's girlfriends and win every barroom brawl... that's not possible is it?

Anyway. I just think that it's funny. Yes. We know what the problem is. Now what are we going to do about it?