Wednesday, November 07, 2007

The Land of the Free? Whoever Told You That is Your Enemy

Sometimes I think it's better that all I do is work. Otherwise I could be these kids:

I sit around wondering how long before the day comes when police taser me. My sister-in-law was telling me how her little brother got tasered by police about a month ago. Seven Times. Including a deliberate shot to his testicles. Because he's a criminal? She said he was at a party and the cops broke it up. He wasn't happy about it and was scowling at the police so they wanted to teach him a lesson. He's an adult but not old enough to drink. The cops threatened to give him a breath-a-lizer test. He told them that he had had one beer and that it would be a waste of time. Next thing you know, Taser-time!

Some of my wife's brother's friends were also there and they said that doesn't sound too bad considering what happened to our friend Jonny. He was driving along with his 20 yr old wife and their infant strapped in the backseat when the police pulled him over. He was annoyed because he felt he had been following all of the traffic laws but he didn't get a chance to say anything. Before they knew what was happening, the car was surrounded by cops and machine gun barrels were in their faces. Including the baby. Despite the attack dog, Jonny cooperated until he and his wife were lying facedown on the pavement with their hands cuffed behind their backs, then he got upset because the cops were still pointing machine guns at the baby in the backseat. I guess it probably looked like one of those suicide-bomber terrorist babies or something.

In the end it turned out to be a misunderstanding. You see, a Honda Prelude had been reported stolen and the thief had apparently switched plates with Jonny's Prelude. And even though the stolen car was several years newer... and a different color, Jonny understood how it is far more important for all of our Honda Preludes to be accounted for than it is not to have machine guns pointed in your babies face. Jonny sent the police flowers and asked them if they would like to rough him up a little more, just for kicks.

I know it makes me feel safer to see undercover cops waving machine guns in the faces of teenagers when I try to drop my kids off at the school where my wife works. That's how you know America rules. Cause we don't really wait for crimes to be committed. We just have our police harass normal people until they try to defend themselves, WHICH IS AGAINST THE LAW. And then we move in with some mostly non-lethal (only 69 accidental killings by police with tasers in 2005!) remedies.

In school they teach you that you don't get punished until AFTER you have been CONVICTED of a crime. You know... with a trial and everything. And if our new Attorney General doesn't think that waterboarding to be torture then why would anyone think that having your genitals electrocuted was actually a punishment. Think of it more as being dragged to the princiPAL's office by your ear. Even as someone who is only SUSPECTED of committing a crime.

You probably have it coming. Because we are probably ALL criminals just like we are ALL sinners. I saw on CNN a little bit ago, how "APPLE" and "AT&T" had concerns about "Hackers" and iPhones. Apparently, some people who went out and bought iPhones adjusted the software on those phones THAT THEY BOUGHT to allow them to use a different phone service, rather than AT&T. And that is all it takes to make you a "Hacker." A monster. A free-thinking anarchist. And to strike back at all those big-butt butt-faces who dared to adjust their software, Apple has planned to make knew software upgrades that won't work if you have modified your iPhone away from what Apple intended. Take that, loyal-customers who don't want to use AT&T!

Because freedom isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Sometimes we don't even need the IDEA of having a choice:

(This is where I meant to insert a picture I took at the gas station the other day where the 85 octane was "out of service" and the 87 octane was "out of service" but the 91 was ready to go! It was going to be a very forceful image but I can't get the stupid picture off my stupid cellphone. It's all Benjamin Franklin's fault.)

If you haven't had your own run in with the cops lately, please see what your missing. Bad boys, bad boys, watcha gonna do...

15 isn't so innocent an age as it used to be:


AnoMALIE said...

What's up with cops and tasers, man!

A year and a half ago two cops killed my cousin's mentally handicapped uncle by shooting him 3 times with a taser gun.

I'm surprised that kid was ok after getting hit so many times.

Dee Ice Hole said...

You are correct that damn Ben Franklin left everything untied and now we are all paying the price and will continue to pay the price---which is pretty cheap no matter how you figure it.