It seems like a lot of the people I end up spending my time with are grumpy and cuss and shout a lot. I usually just let them get it out of their system but sometimes it almost seems like they are redirecting their life's anger at me.
For this reason, I have decided to devise an incongruous scapegoat to effectively "pass the buck" in nearly any situation.
I have all but completely settled on Founding Father, Benjamin Franklin. Because logic can so easily be traced back to him:
His discovery of electricity has done many great things for mankind but think of all the bad it has done in your personal life:
Did your alarm clock inexplicably NOT go off this morning? That situation would never have occurred if not for Franklin.
Did your computer lose that file before you could Save it? Damn you, Franklin!
Do you hate vegetarians who still eat fish?
Does the whole Daylight Savings thing bug you?
Benjamin! H! Franklin!
A penny saved is a penny discontinued.
Franklin has officially been filed among all my favorite fricatives.