Friday, February 03, 2006

Tragic, The Blathering: Sissypants

You've probably seen him around. He's the guy with his belt cinched beneath his cheeks. Often, they are pants designed for girls. I think the look may be a throwback to the days of birdleg punk pants, even though these kids probably don't realize it and probably think punk was something invented by Green Day. They pride themselves that they heard of AC/DC before they bought the T-shirt at JC Penney.

There are usually signs that these guys care about fashion and that they put some thought into their look before deciding on the drooping-girls'-pants-and-hoodie-sweatshirt-look. I think the bottom line is that they are looking for an identity: "I follow in the trends cause I wanna have some friends." It's just a bad time for trends, by the look of it.

So this guy has low strength and low hit points as he is obviously asking for a boot-stomping. Oy, oy, oy!

While we are talking about fashion for guys... I think I should also pass the wisdom about guys in trench coats and turtle-neck shirts.

When a guy wears a trench coat or a turtle-neck shirt it is a clear cry for help. They may think they have things together. They may seem normal otherwise, but it is a cry for help. If the guy is your friend then try to get him back on track. It is probably the "searching for an identity" thing again, only these guys want an identity that bucks the trends... so they go for the street-vigilante or wannabe-yuppie look, I guess.

If the trench coat or turtleneck is accompanied by camouflage (double whammy!) then the wearer may be too far gone to be saved. If the ensemble is worn in summer then things are even worse. I actually almost prefer this guy to "sissypants" because you don't have to see the "I hope my pants don't fall down" swagger in their walk.

I recently saw a comedian (I think his name is Mitch Hedger) who compared wearing a turtle-neck to being strangled by someone with weak hands, all day long. He said if you add a backpack it's like a weak-handed midget is trying to take you down.


Native Minnow said...

This was an extremely timely post for me. I went to a house party this weekend. My ex-girlfriend was in town and asked me to go with her while she caught up with a bunch of high school friends. I didn't know any of them, but most of them were acting like they were still in high school. It's funny how some people never grow up (myself included). Anyway, several of the guys at the party were attired EXACTLY like your sissypants character. It's all I could think about for a good five minutes.

PsychoIntern said...

We saw a few of these sissypants guys the other day. My mother-in-law thinks it is funny that they have to walk around "like they pooped in their pants" so their pants won't fall down.