We were driving through our neigborhood looking at houses.
Me: "When we get divorced I'll probably rent one of these apartments."
My Wife: "Why?"
Me: "So I can stay close to the kids. They aren't much to look at but I'm sure they're cheap and I can live there with a younger, skinnier, prettier version of you and pay off my bills."
My Wife: "It sounds like you've really been thinking about this. How can you even think these things? Even if you're joking?"
Me: "I'm a man. That's what men do, isn't it?"
Now that I type it, it sounds REALLY mean. But I assure you that it was quite funny. Don't let my wife's crying eyes dissuade you. She cries about everything you know.