When Will I Meet My Fate? Baby I'm A Man And I Was Born To Hate

We were driving through our neigborhood looking at houses.

Me: "When we get divorced I'll probably rent one of these apartments."

My Wife: "Why?"

Me: "So I can stay close to the kids. They aren't much to look at but I'm sure they're cheap and I can live there with a younger, skinnier, prettier version of you and pay off my bills."

My Wife: "It sounds like you've really been thinking about this. How can you even think these things? Even if you're joking?"

Me: "I'm a man. That's what men do, isn't it?"


Now that I type it, it sounds REALLY mean. But I assure you that it was quite funny. Don't let my wife's crying eyes dissuade you. She cries about everything you know.