I enjoy keeping track of all the off-the-wall, stern lectures I get at work from my superiors. Stuff I would never expect to have to be told at work. Previous examples:
Keep the doors closed or the raccoons will eat our profits.
Do not suggest that "Big Jugs" are to blame for a lack of productivity.
Do not come to work with a mohawk.
And the new one I am adding to my list came from yesterdays contractors meeting:
Do not urinate into empty bottles and leave them on the job site. It's just plain lazy and unprofessional!