Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Things That Must Go

On one of the Salt Lake's better radio stations (X96) they do a weekly bit called "Things That Must Go" where the DJs read lists of things that people hate that are sent in by the listeners. I have a few things in mind for this list, though I probably won't actually send it in to the show. Here they are:

Pants With Drawstrings - Maybe they're okay for girls but not for guys. I wouldn't even want to offend gay people by calling them gay. They're just dumb and annoying. Especially when designers put them in pants that also have a zipper and button. All it does is create the potential that you will accidentally walk around with strings hanging out of your zipper, which everyone should automatically recognize as an invitation for one guy to make a joke about another guy being on his period. Pants with drawstrings surely must go.

Crappy Arnold Schwartzenegger Impersonations - Apparently, everyone in the world who can growl with an austrian accent thinks they can do a good Arnold Schwartzenegger impersonation. I hear people in public doing them, very bad radio commercials using them, endless talk shows doing them. I think we've reached the point where it's not funny anymore. Please leave the impersonations to the professionals.

Snot Rockets, aka The Farmer Blow - I can't say that I'm surprised by how many guys I see blowing snot rockets but I think they should stop. They act like it's a reasonable way to dispose of unwanted nasal matter but it's not. A snot rocket is basically blowing your nose without using a tissue and hoping that nothing gets on your face, clothes or hands. Gross. I think it would be generous of me to say that maybe one in a million boogers makes it out cleanly. A lot of my coworkers are fans of this method and for some reason they all think I won't have a problem touching things that they've handled with their booger paws. Yes, I mind.

It seems like I had more but that's all that's coming to mind for now.

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