Hey, what's that sound coming out of the hole in the wood?

A couple of days ago I thought I would commit to a blog project using a minimum of 51% of my ass. I thought I would write and perform a "Hey There Delilah" spoof for the people in blog-land.

So I pulled out the guitar for the first time since last winter and figured out the chords for the song (D, F-minor then G, A, Fm, A). I even wrote out some lyrics. I didn't finalize them but here is what I was playing with:

Hey there, Delilah
Are you tired of hearing this song?
It was cool when I first wrote it
But now it seems its dragging on and on
and on and on and on and on
It's my only song

Hey there, Delilah
I guess I'm sorry about the instance
When I tried to teach your cat to swim
Despite all his resistance
In the pond out back
It was wrong of me to use a gunny sack
And that's a fact

Chorus

Hey there, Delilah
I know times are getting hard
And I hope that you don't freak out
When you get the bill for this guitar
I used your credit card
I found it in my wallet
Isn't that bizarre?
Yes, how bizzare

Change

You can run to any town
And I will come and track you down
I'll walk to you and live in your crawl space
And I will build a shrine to you
with jelly beans and crazy glue
A tribute to your smiling angel face
Your tasty faaaa-ah-a-ah-ace

Anyway, I didn't have much time to practice and it was hard to remember all the new words. I also realized that if I did this, then this is the kind of company I would be keeping on Youtube:



I decided I would pass on that idea. So don't ask.

But a day or two later my 2 and 4 year old kids knew I had the guitar lying around and they came busting in and demanded that I play it. The 2 year old seemed to want it the most and he made me finger the chords for him while he slapped the strings.

Then my 4 yr old daughter said, "Play a song, Daddy." And, of course, I started playing "Hey There Delilah" and my daughter got all excited and said, "Daddy, I like that song. It's the song where the guy sings all the OH's."

Then she asked about the guitar that I was playing. She said, "Is this Ian's guitar?"

I said, "This is grandpa's guitar. Ian's guitar is that blue one over there."

She said, "Where is your guitar, dad?"

I said, "Mine is that pile of junk sitting over there."

She walked over to my old beat-up guitar and put her hand on it lovingly, "I like this guitar, Dad. It has good songs on it."

Maybe that's why my spoof didn't sound right. Maybe it was waiting to come out of the old clunker.



P.S. I don't know why but I also wrote the first couple of lines for a Kelly Clarkson parody:

Here's the deal
We're not even friends
You changed my diapers
Now I buy you Depends
Yeah, yeah
Since your my mom

But to write more I would have to learn more words to the song and I doubt I would even learn the music for this one. I guess I figure if I write about it here then these weird ideas will stop floating around in my head.