Thursday, June 21, 2007

Sometimes its not so easy to be the Teacher's Pet

The other day we decided to turn the beds in the boy's room back into bunk beds. We couldn't find two of the wooden dowels we needed so we headed to the local Big Box hardware store to buy a long, round stick so I could cut some new ones.

After we bought the wooden rod, we went nextdoor to the Big Box book store because I have a job thingy coming up where I have to take a timed algebra test and I wanted to buy a workbook so I could practice my math speed.

As we were heading out of the store we were walking past the tables in the center aisle where the bookstore puts all of the books they recommend to browsing customers.

I said, "I like this book. I like this book. I like this one. I like this one..." And I was tapping each of the books with the stick as if it was a 40 inch magic wand.

My wife snapped at me, "Would you knock it off? Put that stick away!"

Barely acknowledging her existence, I said, "No. Pointing at things with sticks is fun. I'm starting to think that the main reason that people become teachers is just so they can point at things with sticks."

At that moment, an old man who was looking at books on the table in front of me started busting up with laughter. I looked at him and realized he was laughing at my wife and I. It's one of those moments where you want to bow and say, "Thank you, thank you. I'm weird and annoying ALL OF THE TIME."

But if it wasn't for that old man then I wouldn't have realized I was being funny and I wouldn't have typed this. And it's important. Because a lot of my friends teach classes. And if they haven't felt the joy of pointing at things with sticks then they have been missing out in life and the emptiness might have continued forever, had I not said anything.

Laser pointers are so gay. Stick with the classics.


Native Minnow said...

Ah, but can you put someone's eye out if their sitting at the back of the room if you're only using a stick? I think not. Laser pointers are so not gay. But you can tell the people who have huge egos because they're the ones willing to pay $100 or more to have a green one, just so they stand out amongst their peers. I want a green one. I have a huge ego.

flieswithoutwings said...

Laser pointers would only not be gay if they made the amplified sound of a wrench hitting a taught steel cable and burned a smoking crater into whatever you pointed them at. All other laser pointers: gay. Even ones colored "Luke Skywalker Green."

A pink triangle laser pointer would rule. A laser pointer that shot out the full spectrum of colors and played Clay Aiken's "Invincible" when you pushed the button would be even better.

Native Minnow said...

No, the Clay Aiken rainbow laser pointer would be the gayest one possible.

PMDahlgrenFamily said...

OK, I loved the post itself but this "comment conversation" is great, too. Anyway, being a teacher, I can admit that I, too, love using pointers. Given that I teach kindergarten, the kids love it too, when I am nice enough to share. My favorite thing to do with it though, is to use it to get their attention by saying, "Eyes on the pointer" and proceeding to make them almost dizzy by pointing it everywhere. It is great to get their attention where I want it to be!