The thing about posting bits and pieces from conversations I have with people (usually my wife) is that I only imagine they are entertaining to me and my blabbing partner. I can easily see them from an objective perspective as, you know.... pointless.
But I will ask the readers. Do you like or dislike these?
Shopping before Christmas---
Me: "Are you really going to make me go into this store just so you can buy MORE wrapping paper?"
Eleanor: "EVERY husband has to do stuff like this ALL the time."
Me: "But do you ever wonder where bad husbands come from?"
What's in a name---
Eleanor: "You never brought me the fingernail-polish-remover like I asked you to."
Me: "I looked for it. I couldn't find it. Don't you think that fingernail-polish-remover is a funny name?"
Me: "You don't think it's funny that the stuff doesn't get it's own name. It has to be named after something else with the word REMOVER added to the end? It's kind of like when people call you Emmett's-Wife or Ethan's-Mom."
Eleanor: "Yeah, they take away your identity. Every time I go to the school EVERYONE ALWAYS calls me Ethan's-Mom."
Me: "See. When you go to the school you aren't Eleanor anymore. You're fingernail-polish-remover."
Eleanor: "Okay. I guess it's kind of funny."
And if anyone wants to argue that "Hey, that stuff is called acetone." Then I argue that the only people who know that are science geeks and people who are desparate for reading material when they are sitting in the bathroom working out a three-day cheese-plug.