Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Memo for Music Execs

We need a new music movement. I know grunge was written off as noise but there was a lot more to it than Kurt Cobain having a breakdown. There was a lot of range between Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains. Most of all, these guys weren't out to create an image. Showing up for an interview in an ugly prom dress and homemade t-shirts was testament of that. Flannel shirts are just how people dress in Seattle. That was all heaven compared to today's music.

All of those bands: Fallout Boy, Yellowcard, Jimmy Eat World, All American Rejects are white noise. They are what make the radio dial a wasteland. It is obvious that there is a "sound" that is IN and being force fed to the public. If you took all the best songs from these clone bands you would end up with ONE good album. I am tired of seeing bands led by style-consultants and people who fake singing by talking. In a Deep Voice. Tell me. How. Does it Feel. ?. I'm talking about you Killers, Panic!At the disco and you other deep talkers.

I'm even disappointed in Thom York from Radiohead. Letely, Keane does a better job of sounding like Radiohead than Radiohead. Why do you need to do a solo album, Thom? With guest appearances by who? The rest of Radiohead? The way I see it you are just jipping the world out of the important talent offered by the rest of your band. Am I right, Gwen Stefani? Hey Fergie, I like getting retarded more than I like going down like London Bridge. And stop stealing Mary J. Blige beats and style. It is probably your producer's fault. Nelly Furtado. It's all the same.

I think it should be required of all music executives to read Jello Biafra's "Chickenshit Conformist" lyrics EVERY MONTH. The guy can't sing but he makes a good point and pulls all aspects of life into the music. That is how life works:

Punk's not dead
It just deserves to die
When it becomes another stale cartoon
A close-minded, self-centered social club
Ideas don't matter
It's who you know
If the music's gotten boring
It's because of the people who want everyone to sound the same
Who drive the bright people out of our so-called scene
Till all that's left is just a meaningless fad
Hardcore formulas are dogshit
Change and caring are what's real
Is this a state of mind
Or just another label
The joy and hope of an alternative
Have become its own cliche
A hairstyle's not a lifestyle
Imagine Sid Vicious at 35
Who needs a scene
Scared to love and to feel
Judging everythng
By loud fast rules appeal
Who played last night?
"I don't know, I forgot.
But diving off the stage Was a lot of fun."
So eager to please
Peer pressure decrees
So eager to please
Peer pressure decrees
Make the same old mistakes
Again and again,
Chickenshit conformist like your parents
What's ripped us apart even more than drugs
Are the thieves and the goddamn liars
Flipping people off when they share their stuff
When someone falls are there any friends?
Harder core than thou for a year or two
Then it's time to get a real job
Others stay home; it's no fun to go out
When the gigs are wrecked by gangs and thugs
When the thugs form bands, look who gets record deals
From New York metal labels looking to scam
Who sign the most racist queer-bashing bands they can find
To make a buck revving kids up for war
Walk tall, act small
Only as tough as gang approval
Unity is bullshit
When it's under someone's fat boot
Where's the common cause
Too many factions
Safely sulk in their shells
Agree with us on everything
Or we won't help with anything
That kind of attitude
Just makes a split grow wider
Guess who's laughing while the world explodes
When we're all crybabies
Who fight best among ourselves
So eager to please
Peer pressure decrees
So eager to please
Peer pressure decrees
That farty old rock and roll attitude's back
"It's competition, man, we wanna break big."
Who needs friends when the money's good
That's right, the '70s are back.
Cock-rock metal's like a bad laxative
It just don't move me, ya know?
The music's OK when there's more ideas than solos
Do we rally need the attitude too?
Shedding thin skin too quickly
As a fan it disappoints me
Same old stupid sexist lyrics
Or is Satan all you can think of?
Crossover is just another word
For lack of ideas
Maybe what we need
Are more trolls under the bridge
Will the metalheads finally learn something-
Or will the punks throw away their education?
No one's ever the best
Once they believe their own press
"Maturing" don't mean rehashing
Mistakes of the past
So eager to please
Peer pressure decrees
So eager to please
Peer pressure decrees
The more things change
The more they stay the same
We can't grow
When we won't criticize ourselves
The '60s weren't all failure
It's the '70s that stunk
As the clock ticks we dig the same hole
Music scenes ain't real life
They won't get rid of the bomb
Won't eliminate rape
Or bring down the banks
Any kind of real change
Takes more time and work
Than changing channels on a TV set
So eager to please
Peer pressure decrees
So eager to please
Peer pressure decrees

Chickenshit conformist like your parents!

1 comment:

Native Minnow said...

I'm afraid your new music movement is American Idol. I will now go stab myself in the eye with a sharp knife.