Saturday, May 20, 2006

More Wicked Witchery than Stevie Nicks

The 3-year-old is getting too smart. We may have to destroy her for the good of mankind. The other day she used SARCASM against me. She's 3. Barely 3!

Olivia: "Where did mommy go?"

Me: "She ran inside the restaurant to get you a burrito because you're being a whiny crybaby."

Olivia: "I'm not a whiny crybaby. I'm Olivia (pronounced "Owivia")."

Me: "Yeah, but 'Olivia' is spanish for 'Whiny Crybaby.'"

Olivia: "Funnyyyyy."

Me: "What did you say?"

Olivia: "Funnyyyyyy, dad."

And today her mother confronted her about a puddle of urine on the bathroom floor.

My wife: "Olivia, who peed on the floor in the bathroom?"

And in the same manner her father defended himself against interrogation in high school, Olivia said, "Maybe it was you, mom."

But we found your soiled undies in the bathroom trashcan, little girl! You're busted and you aren't going to talk or smile your way out of it!

5 comments:

Native Minnow said...
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Native Minnow said...
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Native Minnow said...

I know that stuff isn't the most fun right now (cleaning up puddles of urine that is) but it's pretty cute. I've taught my kids the art of sarcasm as well, and it's starting to come back to haunt me. Of course, it's something they're bound to pick up sooner or later anyway.

PsychoIntern said...

Sarcasm is good in small doses...but I don't like being around people who never put on the sarcasm brakes... :)

ShootingStar said...

Ohh the sarcasm karma has caught up with you my friend and having been the brunt of your sarcasm at one time, I must say that you'll get no sympathy from me. Okay I'm sure one day I"ll have kids and then maybe I'll be a bit more understanding. But for now I'm rooting for Olivia, especially if you call her a whiny cry baby.