Yesterday, the Fox channel ran a lot of commercials for the season premiere of "24." I've never watched it, but the commercial started to get on my nerves.
Somebody asks Kiefer Sutherland, "Who are you?"
To which he replies, "Someone who isn't supposed to still be alive."
It rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it? Additionally, it doesn't offer any useful information but I guess it builds drama? maybe? Wouldn't it hit harder if he said, "I'm a dead man." or even, "Someone who is presumed to be dead"?
I really wish I felt comfortable giving frustrating answers like, say, at a doctor's appointment or a job interview. But that probably wouldn't fly:
Who are you?
Someone who probably should have been mortally wounded twenty years ago when my siblings and I actually spent our first Christmas with my dad since the divorce and travelled down to Pueblo Colorado to stay in a trailer with his "girlfriend" who owned a plot of land and let my brother and I ride together on one of her three horses across her barren property, soon to discover the saddle wasn't strapped on tight and we were plopped onto the ground as our seat slid down to the horse's belly, left to flounder in the dirt amid all those metal-shod hooves.
Uh-huh, and what is your date of birth?
It was a balmy summer day, in the year of our nations bi-centennial..."
I don't know. Was that dramatic and compelling? Wouldn't it be great if we all had endless amounts of time to waste?