The Producers

I've been working. A lot. All day, every day since Christmas. It sounds bad but I have to say: at least I only wished I was dead ONE night this week. It used to be every night, even the weekends. I'm getting pretty battered loading boxes. I've only had about five bruises in my entire life and now I probably get that many per week. The coolest part about that job is when I leave the building and pull off my gloves and my hands smell like a pair of dirty feet. Mmmm... vinegar.

I've also been painting with my father and brothers-in-law. We're still working on that big house. It's huge. But we were at a dive sandwich shop eating lunch today and my father-in-law began to regail us with stories of his past business ventures and misadventures. They all end with him getting screwed over by his business partners.

He told me how HE originally developed the oversized cup holder (the kind you hang on the window in your car). Patent lawyers said it shouldn't be patented because of the ease of making a slight modification to attain a new product. They had orders from retail stores in Florida and were able to get a mold for the plastic injection. Then his partner used their money to stave off his own personal debtors. The mold got repossessed. The partner moved in the night and a third partner made the improvements they all decided on and went in to business for himself. He changed the name from "mugholder" to "mughugger."

Their is a guy from my inlaws neighborhood who just developed some snowboarding gloves that have a zipper across the knuckles so you can flip down the fingers and use your bare hand to strap into your snowboard bindings. I thought those were common hunting gloves. But he got someone in Hong Kong to start making them. My inlaws all act like he's already a millionaire. I just know that I've been boarding for over half my life and I refuse to pay over $40 for gloves (the fancy zipper gloves will retail for $80). Besides, the GOOD boarders I know use very light gloves, not giant thick ones. But that boy works at the same job I just quit for a lower wage and I recieved more than ten times the stock options he will. He's in Hell. I hope he makes some money off the gloves. Rumor is you can by them at Costco in Sandy (if you're in the area).

But my father-in-law stressed the importance of how "That's what you have to do." I need to start inventing things, he says. I didn't want to brag to him about the Kleenex box you can clip to your belt and other ideas I came up with (those actually only took me about two minutes. Those guys at the Sharper Image have quite a racket going).

I could probably come up with a legitimately cool invention if I just sat down and thought about it. So let's try it. Let's all become inventors.