Saturday, November 19, 2005


My thumbs have blisters on them from raking up the leaves in our yard without gloves. We did the whole thing where the kids came out and jumped in the pile and then, 6 days before the next garbage day, I loaded up our garbage cans with Mother Nature's litter from her annual autumn ticker-tape parade. I scared our neighbors "free-range" bunny, Cuddles, to death with the rake. The neighbor kids say he is an "indoor rabbit" but he always escapes. He lives in our backyard. He loiters around our bunny hutch. Don't feel bad for our rabbits. When they escape they just hang around the outside of their cage anyway.

We woke up this morning and ate some Clementines and watched "Home Alone" on TV. Eleanor cooked a roast using some seasoning Gordon gave me at work. Speaking of work, I applied for a job yesterday filling fire-extinguishers. The place was full of good ol' boys, but overall, they were harmless and I think I would enjoy working there. The way I draw the odds, in a storehouse full of fun-loving people and fire-extinguishers with the chemicals used to charge them you are bound to have one really, really exciting day per year OR a mildly exciting day at work every other day. When I went to the office to apply, I was greeted by a secretary who was not particularly cute or particularly "hot" but she seemed to think she was and she wore a shirt which revealed a lot of the terrain between her neck and her belly button. She told me she was going to continue vacuming while I wrote out my life story on the application. When her boss came in I missed whatever gesture he made but she replied with "Mine are better... and they're REAL." Then a scuffle ensued. The secretary complained about her boots being scuffed. The boss paged someone by the name "Army Man." Army Man showed up right away. He was a thin guy, younger than me and he joined in the mirth-making. Then there was a lot of talk about repairing dry-wall. Hey. I do drywall.

I actually took all of this as a good sign. At my last job we were getting pulled aside everyother day, interrogated with questions like "Have you ever heard the term 'golfing' used in a derogatory way? How about 'opening the umbrella'? 'stirring the pot'? 'embracing the mongoose'?" It seems much healthier to be in an environment where adults can be immature without the world coming to an end. The boss said they had not had many impressive applicants and that I would probably be back for interviews next week. He even made fun of me for quitting my job before I had another lined up. It was great.


Gordon said...

Now for serious questions. Does "embrace the mongoose" sound more or less crude than "choke the chicken."

Native Minnow said...

I think that "embrace the mongoose" sounds much less crude. But more importantly, did they really pull you aside at your old job and ask you about that exact term? No wonder you needed to quit.