Sunday, April 05, 2009

I Never Knew What Everybody Meant By Endless Hopeless Bleak Despair

At the request of my readers, here is a blurry picture of my precious kidney stone. In addition to not owning a chainsaw, I also don't own a microscope. The kidney stone is not spikey, but upon closer inspection it looks to be comprised of little lumps all mashed together into a ball; like if you took a bunch of little wads of playdough and squished them into one ball without smoothing out the seams. Oddly, staring closely at the kidney stone makes me hungry for a rootbeer float.

And I never actually intended to tell a story about the kernel of popcorn that was stuck in my teeth but here is a picture I drew really quick which sums up the problem.

I walked around with a piece of popcorn stuck behind my tooth for a couple days. I finally got it out, but a couple days after that, I ate popcorn again and another piece of popcorn got stuck in the exact same spot.

When I was younger, we went and saw "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" and I got a piece of popcorn stuck in the back of my throat for a week. It was horrible.

Those are my popcorn stories. I wouldn't have told them except our dear sweet friend Holly requested them and she was in my dream last night. I dreamed we were trying to play Boggle but I couldn't find all the letter cubes we needed to play.

Dreams are dumb.


Ward-a-Loo's said...

Is it that black thing? That's huge!

flieswithoutwings said...

Emmett Chose: Now with 50% more Black Thing.

PsychDoctor said...


flieswithoutwings said...

It just looked like a speck of dirt when it first arrived. I wonder if it poofed up after it left my briny womb. It's also an oblong shape, not round.

Ward-a-Loo's said...

Dude, did you spell your own name wrong up there?

flieswithoutwings said...

It was intentional, Mr. Weed.