Monday, January 28, 2008

Do You Know What I Blame This On The Breakdown Of?...Society.

Real fast.

I got a big gash in my cheek while I was playing basketball this week. It bled all over. I've been wearing a band-aid on my face. Everyone at work keeps calling me Scarface and Nelly.

We were loading trucks the other day. We sell all kinds of crazy crap and my boss suddenly pulled out a big shiny broadsword that said Excalibur on the hilt. The guys made plans to find another of the swords in the warehouse. I suggested that we should use the bumper cars to have jousts but somebody else insisted that all of history's greatest swordfights have taken places on staircases. I just said, "Well, it's all fun and games until someone gets gouged in the cheek.

Last weekend, Geppetto came to visit with his family. It turns out that there was a bunch of corporate crap that happened and he quit his job as plant manager. Now he's going into business for himself doing other stuff. We were supposed to meet him in the Sam's Club parking lot one morning after his family took care of some business.

My daughter said, "What's Sam's Club."

I said, "It's like Costco."

She said, "Oh. So it's BORING."

I said, "I guess... if you think buying 20,000 candy bars is BORING."

Moments later we found Geppetto loading about 20,000 candy bars in the back of his truck. I told him, "It looks like a big fat guy just bought a years supply of food."

The night before Geppetto had tried to take me to a Utah Jazz game versus the LA Clippers. Our seats were good but it turns out our tickets were bad and they kicked us out just before the end of the first quarter. Geppetto was trying to explain where the mistake must have been to the usher while I was climbing the stairs to leave. I heard someone shouting my name and looked over to see some people from Cow Country. Kevin, the River Guide, and his wife yelled a greeting. Kevin said, "What happened... did you guys steal someones seats?" Which is pretty much what we had done.

So Geppetto and I walked in the freezing cold to his hotel where our families were swimming.

The other night I went to lunch with some guys. Rafa was saying, "It sucks they won't let us work overtime right now. I need the money."

I said, "Me too."

The 18yr-old said, "That's your fault for having kids. You should have been smart and kept it in your pants."

Rafa said, "It will happen to you, one day."

The 18 yr-old said, "But I'll get smart and stop after one."

I said, "You can't just have one. Because then your kid thinks you're his permanent playground buddy. You have to have two so they can buddy up and take off."

The 18 yr-old said, "Bullshit. I never do ANYTHING with my brothers and sisters. I don't think anyone does."

I said, "You take your family for granted. Most people like their brothers and sisters." And Rafa and I gave several examples of fun things we've done with our siblings.

The 18 yr-old said, "No. I still don't agree."

Rafa turned to me and said, "What's the deal with white people? None of them like eachother."

It made me laugh more than it should have.


Kris said...

Be extra careful with our furniture we just ordered, I don't want any blood on it...
It's being delivered Wed or Thurs.


I'm white and I like my family.

Native Minnow said...

Wow, I should call Geppetto.

Native Minnow said...

and not just so I can get some of his 20,000 candy bars