Friday, September 28, 2007

The roof has a hole in it and everything is ruined by the rain

For the past three days we have been re-roofing my wife's parent's house. It's kind of hot and tedious but we've tried to make it as fun as possible without nailing ourselves to the plywood.

It makes me imagine the dawn of humanity when the very first people got together to take a vote. The elders said, "We are here to choose between a land of flat, level surfaces or this second option that we simply call, Slanty-World."

And even the Cro-magnons voted for the land of flat surfaces. I think it was a wise choice on the part of our ancestors because it would be really annoying to always be in a world of slants. For one thing, your tape measurer would constantly be rolling away. And it wouldn't be worth diving for. You'd just have to watch it roll and bounce down the slanty surface until it ultimately bounces into the wisteria vines, over and over again. That would be so annoying.

And when the wind picked up while we were laying some tar-paper I made up a new super hero (based on my brother-in-law): Eric, The Human Paper-Weight. Which also led to the creation of another super hero: Crabman/Paper-Weight Hybrid, which is pretty much just a Human Paper-Weight who occassionally crawls around like a crab and occassionally lifts his pinchers up over his head and claps them open and closed like that Zoidberg guy on Futurama.

An aluminum vent came flying at my head on a big gust of wind and I had to catch it like a frisbee. That was an exciting moment.

Now I bet you all wish you could come over and help us roof. But you can't. Sorry. It's only for off-the-wall super heroes.

1 comment:

Native Minnow said...

I was trying to explain to someone about the trauma of growing up in cow country, and I started thinking about how long it's been since you've given us one of the chronicles. I hate to be demanding, but, BRING BACK THE CHRONICLES OF COW COUNTRY HIGH. There, I feel better now.