Sunday, July 29, 2007

Burning in a lake of fire

It finally feels like summer is kicking in for me. I haven't been doing much blogging but I've been out enjoying life now and again. For instance, we took our kids to Lagoon (Utah's sufficient arcade/zoo/theme park/roller coaster park/waterslide/historic site and purveyor of pioneer history). The furniture store gave us free tickets but we weren't going to go because we thought it would be torture standing in lines in crazy heat watching our kids have all the fun. But at the last minute we went anyhow and we all had a good time. So much fun, the kids all pitched a fit and cried the whole way home when we made them leave. For being a local gig, Lagoon is pretty impressive. It has decent rides with a lot of quiet areas tucked around. We went and found a quiet place to hang out in Pioneer Village and didn't see a soul around. When we bought some corn-on-the-cob we ate it while watching a family playing make-shift baseball in a small field of grass. I've decided I like Lagoon. It's a lot more relaxed than DisneyHell and all those others.

I've been dying to get back to Flaming Gorge and I missed my chance at the 4th of July because I thought my dad was coming to visit (he didn't), so we headed out there for the 24th of July, Utah's "Pioneer Day," a celebration of mormon's thinking they finally found a place where they wouldn't be run out of town. It's pretty much just a second 4th of July with more girls than usual walking around in bonnets.

I called up my old friend Geppetto to see if we could stay at his house. He said we could and that he also had full access to a Lotus Elise. And I had thought my trip would be cool because I was vacationing in Chaco sandals with a back up pair of Tevas.

I told my wife how I would love to move back to the Gorge. She said MAYBE should would consider moving to Vernal. What the...? Don't even compare the two. They are a world apart.

I have always felt like a superstar at the gorge. I am on familiar terms with all the local business owners, sheriffs, bishop and other members of the faculty. I show up and people hug and kiss me. They tell me they love me. Everyone wants to meet my kids and know how my family is doing. Every spot has a memory tied to it. I know as much about the dam as nearly any tour guide. I get invited to fish with river guides for free. I helped the Forest Service fix up the Swett Ranch. Like Butch Cassidy, I've been to Brown's Park 1.5 million times. I've caught frogs and snakes along the Green River. I've rafted to the islands and camped on them at night. I've sat at the top of the Cart Creek bridge in the moonlight. I've stared down and rappelled into more of those canyons than I can name. I know what many of the trails look like by mountain bike and cross country skis. I've watched the Kokanee salmon head up Sheepcreek Bay to spawn and die on more than one occassion. The list goes on and on...

My wife thinks all of that is nice, if those are your priorities in life. The real problem is... if she lived in Flaming Gorge she couldn't go to Target everyday. She couldn't buy 5 pairs of shoes and then return 4. It just isn't realistic.

I also got to go to Mustang Ridge and jump off the cliffs. This picture is of my favorite cliff in the world.

This picture was taken several years ago. That cliff no longer exists. It was smashed off the face of the earth. So now I have to settle for jumping off the next highest cliff. It's still fun and gets your blood pumping pretty good. I haven't been to the gorge since our latest kid was born and then we were in drought for years before that and these cliffs became SUPER high with the low water levels, so it's been a LOOOONG time since I've had this chance. Everyone says there are strict new rules about cliff jumping, something like you can't jump off anything over 12 feet high, but I think I should be grandfathered into higher cliff jumping rights because I've been doing it all my life. And those laws are only in place so big pussies don't have to make excuses for not jumping anyway.

I told my wife that as long as I am physically able to haul my carcass to the top of the cliffs and toss it off, I will continue to do so. She's glad the tallest cliff is gone.

It's been a good week.


Anonymous said...

That picture is awesome...I am one of the pussies who could never jump off those cliffs. I stuck to the ones nearer to the beach. :) Psychointern

Native Minnow said...

I used to feel like a superstar there, but not so much lately. I think it's been too long, and most of the people no longer recognize me.

That picture of you jumping off the cliff is awesome. Unlike my brother, I was brave enough to do it. Many times. In fact, it is my opinion that the lower ones are only there for diving off head first.

How in the world did Geppetto have access to a Lotus? I'm guessing it was through work (judging by the advertisement painted on the side). Did you get to drive it?

Kris said...

I am surprised you want to move back. All I heard from that group of boys is how bad it sucked.
I wouldn't mind moving back, either. But I would let my kids go to school in Vernal instead of Cow Country High. I bet the teachers would punish our children just for being our children.

Native Minnow said...

Kris, I think most of our complaining was about the school and the hicks that went there. Summers were great! Mostly because we didn't have to deal with the hicks.

Anonymous said...

Emmett, are you on crack? I absolutely hate going to the grocery store, but I have to go there at least 3 times a week so our kids have food and socks and stuff. The biggest reason I don't want to live there is because the schools are an hour away and lets not forget hospitals etc. I also like being around my family and so do our kids. Tell the REAL story next time.


Kris said...

And because the teachers try to get the young girls in high school.

Anonymous said...

Let's all go in and buy a summer home up there...we could all pay some of the mortgage and we could rent out rooms to classy fly-fishermen on weekend we weren't up there. It would have to be a house like the Guest House though...lots of bedrooms for weeks several families were there. :) Psychointern

Anonymous said...

I know this is a late comment, but that is a great idea Psychointern.


Rogina said...

Hey Emmett this is your ex-next door neighbor Jon. I dont have an account but ive been reading your blogs from my wifes account. Anyway, I'm wondering why you don't tell how when we were younger you guys made the young chubby kid go first (me) what would it make you sound like one of those pussies.