Sunday, February 18, 2007

Cow Country Addendum

I've been meaning to clarify a couple of things in regard to my most previous "Cow Country" entry.

I probably should have given more details about the drive back to the school with the cop. How he told us about all the crazy guns he'd shot. How I asked him if he had ever shot anyone (he hadn't). And what the worst part of his job was. He said, "The worst part of my job is that I have to do paperwork on EVERYTHING I do... and that's why I'm so pissed off at you guys right now."

When the principal asked us why we didn't get along with the other kids and I said "because we don't wear Wranglers" his initial response was to remove his shoe, place it on his desk and say, "Does that look like a shit kicker to you?"

I realize I made a crucial error in not naming the principal as he is such a key player in these stories. He once grew a beard and everyone called him Grizzly Adams and I considered using that name, but Grizzly Adams was a character wrongly accused and fighting to prove his innocence, which is completely out of character for the principal. So I've decided a more apt name would be Principal It-Rubs-The-Lotion-On-Its-Skin.

To usher this character more appropriately into the story, here is his theme music (if you have not already seen the film Silence of the Lambs or do not wish to see imagery from that film, you probably don't want to watch this:


Inside Stories said...

I think you should name the principal "Principal Tom" (as in Peeping Tom ;0+ )

Alpha said...

I like Mr. Garrison myself....But it's your name him whatever you like...
But you've got to hear this story.
One time Marie and I went to visit him in the hospital...where his body wasn't working but his mind was fine. Somehow, he made his body work enough to try to go up Marie's shirt and grab try to grab at my a$$ boyfriend was with us and had to grab his hands and remove the perv from us, then we left. It was a sick, sordid kind of funny...and we never went back.