Sunday, September 24, 2006

Communication Breakdown

Is it just me or does the News get harder to watch everyday? I mean, even the pope is picking fights. And not just with gays and single mothers as you might expect. So of course, the most hot tempered of Islam and Muslim followers are going to have to burn a few effigies. And let's not forget to condemn the Jews while we're at it. It's all the rage in Hollywood.

Suddenly, the president of Iran seems like the one person who is being diplomatic and requesting a peaceful debate. And believe me, your odds of looking like the level-headed one increase dramatically once you are standing next to George W. Bush. And yet, where do you begin to find common ground with a ruler who teaches his nation that the holocaust in Germany never happened? That it was all a hoax aimed at gathering support for Jews who should all be destroyed in the name of God? Sorry, Ahmadinejad, you are disqualified.

Turn on the News for the latest from Iraq. The last I heard, there were concerns about torture on the streets, even as far as someone sewing the severed head of a dog to the body of a decapitated woman. But I heard not too long ago that these are the last throws of the insurgency so maybe we should all just stop worrying about Iraq like we did with Afghanistan. And that Bin Laden guy.

I'm also pissed at the President of Venezuela. Damn him for making me defend George Bush. It's not something I like to do. Even when I agree with GWB about what we should be doing as a nation, I still think, "Now I just wish someone competent could carry out that plan for us." GWB does make a lot of bad, deadly or at least selfish decisions for which he suffers none of the consequences. But I say, let the downtrodden citizens point the fingers and call names. I'm sure the citizens of Venezeula who have anything of value on their person confiscated by the police probably have a few choice names for their presidente. Let ME call Bush names, you stay in your country lest a coup overthrow you in your absence. Bush is fanning the flames by trying to choose which international laws he would like to follow. Now every other nutjob leader is going to want to do the same.

I am always amazed at the retards we follow all around the world. What makes these losers better than me? Oh, right. The money. We like families with money and a legacy of putting tards in public office. For some reason it always slips my mind how they are great and how I am scum. And don't forget that October is right around the corner: Time for British royalty to don their Nazi uniforms.

And let's have a moment of silence for our American Way of life. For so many decades Americans have stood up in a huff saying, "As long as our soda cans are red, white, and blue, I can drive an SUV as big as a house. That is what our grandfathers died for and I'ma gonna do it." Now that attitude will leave you on the streets without any car at all. But oil is dropping to $60 a barrel till the next election. I know $40 used to seem outraguous but by today's standards $60 is reason to get in the car and spin a few donuts.

There is so much going on that we won't have time to discuss North Korea and the counterfeit missiles they buy from China. Wake me up when it's time to be hacked to pieces with a machete and God bless the children.


flieswithoutwings said...

I thought I should point out that I'm not just someone with a dim outlook on life. I wrote this after spending a couple days planting flowers in the yard, riding bikes and skateboards with my kids and watching movies with them like The 7th Voyage of Sinbad and The Gods Must Be Crazy II. I've got my problems but I manage to make the best of things.

All I ask is that the rest of the world not be crazy-insane. I don't appreciate feeling guilty that I can enjoy life while others are out there getting blown up for no good reason. Sorry if it seems so dark, but that is the way the world looks if you get it from the News.

Native Minnow said...

Bin who?

Anonymous said...

"We have not inherited the world from our fathers. We are borrowing it from our children." Shebamtnwoman