Saturday, August 12, 2006

Ultra-clumsy or World of Crap?

My wife calls me a "breaker." As in, I break everything I touch. I think I am actually quite careful in most everything I do. But I also have expectations. If there is a hair-clip on the counter I expect that I can open and close it three times in succession without the plastic snapping in half. If there is a refrigerator magnet, I expect that the ornamental portion will not come unglued the first time I try to pull the magnet from the metal surface. And I did not feel like it was my fault when I ripped my pillow case in half when I tried to put it on a new pillow my wife bought me. (Plus, I sleep with the half-covered pillow with dangling frayed threads and all.)

We live in a cheap, cheap world. That is all. My expectations are not unreasonable.

Besides, my wife is a "bender." If you have a picture you like then don't let her hold it. A mint condition baseball card or a freshly printed resume? Keep them out of her hands. I describe to her that it is a bad method to hold a thing on two fingers and then clamp your thumb down between those fingers: you bend and crease things everytime. She doesn't care. That's how she holds things, she says.

Just something to be aware of.


flieswithoutwings said...

If you are wondering about my profile picture:

I read Gordon's blog about his new outdoor gear and I was going to comment that he would look like Recondo from the old GI Joe cartoons -Don't forget to fold up one side of the hat- but I couldn't get a picture to post in the comment. So I thought I would put Recondo as my pic for the comment. But then my wife yelled at me and I had crap to do and I don't feel like changing it right now.

Native Minnow said...

So what you're saying is, Gordon should let your wife hold his new hat. That way, she'll hold it the 'way she holds things' and bend the corner. It'll look just like Recondo's.

PsychoIntern said...

Which is worse, a bender or a breaker?

ShootingStar said...

At my friend's wedding, I was the only person at the table not drinking alcohol (it was just some wine--nothing crazy like an open bar) yet, I was the only one at the table who knocked over my wine glass smashing it to bits on the ground. No lesson here really; just a story that seems to relate to the blog.

flieswithoutwings said...

Sounds like shotty workmanship on the wine glass