I was bent metal, you were a flaming wreck when we kissed at the overpass

A lot of unusual and bad things things have been happening to us lately. Just out-of-the-ordinary things and it's really starting to bother me. Like a couple of weeks ago when I accidently bumped the door to our medicine cabinet with my elbow and the whole thing crashed down into the sink and then rolled into the bathtub, throwing toothpaste and Tylenol and other bathroom stuff in every direction. And a couple of days ago, a five gallon bucket of paint spilled in our car.

Last night I spent several hours watching day turn into night, sitting on the grass in front of a gas station, soaked in Dr. Pepper, waiting for the police to arrive.

Closet-gay Brad and I went to get some fastfood on our lunchbreak. Our light turned green and we started crossing a busy intersection. I looked over and noticed that one car was not heeding their red light and was coming right at us at about 40 mph. I yelled, "Hey!" as a warning to Brad but couldn't think of any useful instructions to give him. Then the car was only a foot or two away from my door. My life didn't flash before my eyes or anything. I guess I didn't expect to die but I was thinking, "Here come the broken bones." I figured a broken arm a possibly a few broken ribs was a reasonable guess.

I think I swore when the car hit us but I can't remember for sure. I said something. Brad and I were both holding our fountain drinks during the collision and they seemed to explode. We were drenched and sticky. I later found the safety glasses, that I had up on my head during the wreck, down on the floor by the brake pedal. When the crash was over, I just said, "That kind of hurt." I was thinking that using "it was like being hit by an NFL linebacker" may be an over dramatization, but an NFL player is probably in the neighborhood of 400 pounds whereas the car that hit us is about 3000. So that could possibly be an understatement.

We were able to move our car into a gas station parking lot and we were surprised when another car pulled in behind us. When the old lady hit us, she pushed our car over into the next lane and we smashed in one of the doors on the car next to us. There were three kids under the age of three involved in the accident. I must of had the worst jolt of anyone, as the car hit my door. Afterward, I looked in the car and saw that my seat had absorbed most of the shock (the door had been pushed against the seat all along its edge). I was very proud of the 1988 Honda Accord for not tearing open like a wet paper towel.

The accident occurred about 7:40pm. The police finally showed up just before 10:00pm. At the time, I thought, "I'll bounce back. I feel bad for that lady. She probably feels guilty and just made a mistake." But when I came home and tried to go to sleep, I started changing my tune. It hurts to lie on either of my sides and to lay on my back is still pretty uncomfortable. Every time I try to sit up or lay down, there is a point where I get shooting pains and it does not feel like my neck can support my head. It hurts to turn my neck and to lift my arms. Upon realizing that, I thought, "She's old. She's had her run. She needs to park it in front of the TV. Guys like me have kids to support and I can't be jeapordizing my job by being hurt and missing work because some old lady gets behind the wheel when she's-not-all-there anymore." I will try to see an orthopedic specialist today or tomorrow, which I'm hesitant to do because I have no health insurance. I'm sure you will all say, "Her insurance will pay for it!" but it's still a pain because I will be getting the bills and her insurance company will still be talking to their lawyers trying to find a way out of it.

Here is my optomism:

No broken bones. I'm still grateful for that.

Hey, 3.5 day weekend.

The paint spilled in our crappy car, rather than our good one.

I put the medicine cabinet back together and rehung it. It was a miracle that the mirror didn't break.

We found a house and had our offer accepted on it. We just have to make sure the loan goes through.

Another funny thing is that the lady who caused the crash could give a very clear description of how her daughter was reaching into the back seat to help the grandkids moments before the accident, but here is what she wrote on her statement about the crash:

"The light turned red. They were making a left turn. I couldn't stop and hit them."

Aside from the fact that she drew a sketch of us driving in the opposite direction as the reality, I think she was also trying to imply that we ran a red light to make a lefthand turn in front of her. To be honest, I think she was staring at her daughter the whole time and probably didn't even realize she was in an intersection.

And while we were waiting for hours on the grass, there were a lot of rubbernecks trying to see what the party was for. A car full of boys drove by and they yelled, "Hahaha, bitch!"

Yes, we all know the world is full of insensitive retards. That doesn't even make a good story:

"Guys, do you remember that time we saw that unimpressive car accident and I yelled, hahaha bitch! at a random group of people standing in a parking lot? That must have been the funniest thing I've ever done."

If someone had plowed into that car, just as he yelled it, THAT would have been interesting.