Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Baby's Mouth Already Potty Trained

It is my firm belief that if babies COULD talk in their infancy, they would be swearing like crazy:

  • Get that #$@!# blanket off of me!
  • See you in Hell socks!
  • Hey!Get your @$$ over here and pick me up! Pick me up! I'm talkin' to you! You better... ooooh... if I could get at your face I'd claw your eyes right out!
  • Just leave the #$%!# booger where it is.
  • Nobody tells ME what to eat. If you don't want me eating paper then get me off the #$%!@ floor.
  • I've been in this &%@$! carseat for three hours and there's been a #!%$@ prickly pear in the back of diaper for two.
  • That's right. I just took a $#!+ on you. Get over it.

    Given that alternative, I like the quiet stares just fine.

    Native Minnow said...

    That is so freakin' funny. I think I'd prefer to actually have the babies talk, if only for a day, simply to hear those comments in a little baby voice. One thing that will always crack me up is when a kid says something that he/she shouldn't even know about, let alone say.

    PsychoIntern said...

    Yeah...I think I'm glad babies don't talk too...Why don't you do some Freudian dirty talk about breastfeeding and diaper changing time. :)

    Lindsay-Weaver said...

    I'd be afraid to find out just how strong their personalities really are. Maybe if they could just talk a little bit.... I think my baby would be saying, "You are the best Mom in the whole entire world." (just kidding)

    PsychoIntern said...

    Until she turns 13 and tells you that you are the meanest mom... :)